by Nancy English

If you go onto Lansing’s YMCA website you will find the motto, “We build strong kids, strong families, strong communities.” But to be a part of that strong family, you first have to have a legal relationship as defined by the Lansing YMCA.

Sarah Himes found this out the hard way when she attempted to add her partner Cate to her membership at the Parkwood Branch YMCA in the Haslett area. Since Sarah and Cate do not constitute a “legal” family (according to state of Michigan law and YMCA rules), Stephanie Wagner, Membership Assistant at the Parkwood Y, told Sarah that she could not add Cate at the $19.00 per month fee, which applies to family members. Instead, Cate would have to pay the standard $49.00 per month membership fee.

Instead of giving up, Sarah went to the Downtown YMCA and was told she could add Cate at the $19.00 family rate. So the next day Sarah went back to the Downtown Y, filled out the paperwork, handed over her money and added Cate to her membership. Sarah then phoned Kelly King, Associate Executive Director of the Parkwood Y and asked why a community based organization (the Parkwood YMCA) does not support all members of its community. Ms. King stated that the Y applies family memberships in accordance to the definition of family used by the state of Michigan. She then told Sarah to contact Ben Wheeler, Associate Executive Director of the Downtown Y and speak to him regarding this matter. When Sarah did so, Mr. Wheeler stated that the YMCA could not accept same-sex partners, rescinded Cate’s $19.00 membership fee and told Sarah that Cate would have to pay the regular non-family rate of $49.00 per month. He then stated that he would be re-training all of the Downtown YMCA staff to make sure they were following the proper membership protocol. So Sarah made another trip to the Downtown Y, cancelled her and Cate’s memberships and asked for her money back.

After researching online to find the state of Michigan’s legal definition of the term “family” and finding nothing, I contacted the Attorney General’s office. According to the A.G.’s office, “There is no single definition of family; this is a very broad question.” Instead, family is defined in whatever class or category it is used, e.g. domestic abuse etc. So there is no definition of family written into the Michigan Constitution or in its compiled laws. And there is no Michigan law confining the YMCA from offering family memberships to only those who constitute a family “legally.”

When I called the Parkwood YMCA and spoke with Ralph, he told me that I could add any adult person in my household for the $19.00 fee. When I asked if I had to be related to that person, he said that I did not – that we only had to live in the same residence. I then spoke with Stephanie Wagner, told her the information that Ralph stated to me and asked for her comment. She told me that the rule for adding people to your membership was, “legally related and living together.” When I told her I was writing an article for the Lansing Association for Human Rights (LAHR) newsletter she refused to comment any further and directed me to speak with any of the executive directors or Tony Fragale, President of the YMCA Metropolitan Office.

According to Mr. Fragale, each local YMCA or YMCAs gets to structure its membership any way it wants. The Lansing area is overseen by the YMCA Metropolitan Office and all six of the area branches must abide by the rules governed by this office. There are no national or state rules that govern membership in the YMCA. Mr. Fragale kept reiterating that the YMCA, “must consider the law of the state” when I questioned him about its membership rules. When I asked him specifically which law the YMCA had to abide by, it was then that he told me that the Lansing Metropolitan office gets to set its own rules for membership. When I asked him about the fairness of this policy toward same-sex couples, he replied that, “we don’t get into personal relationships, we stay out of that.” After speaking with him for ten minutes he said, “You choose to follow the definition. It’s the best way for us to stay consistent.” In clarification, he said that he meant the legal definition of family used by the state of Michigan. When I told him there was no set Michigan definition for family he said that for membership people have to be, “legally related and living together.”

Just to make sure that I understood all of the Lansing Metropolitan YMCA rules for membership, I asked Mr. Fragale to e-mail me that document. He said it would be difficult for him to e-mail me the document but that he would be happy to fax it to me. On the fax cover page were two separate statements I found ironic (and hypocritical), “The four character development values of caring, honesty, respect & responsibility are integrated into all YMCA programs” and “YMCA Mission: To put Christian principles into practice through programs that build healthy spirit, mind, and body for all.” I wonder what Christian principle Sarah and Cate received when denied their family membership.

I find it difficult (as probably many of you do) to stand by and not do anything regarding this blatant form of discrimination especially since our local YMCA office gets to make the rules. Please e-mail me at: englishn2003@yahoo.com
if you have any suggestions or would like to get involved in this matter. You can contact Mr. Tony Fragale at: 517-484-6464. And remember, the YMCA receives United Way dollars toward its funding.

Sign our Petition If you wish to sign our petition online, please click here. Or, you can Click here to download a petition. The file is a Microsoft Word document. Sign it yourself, and have others sign it too. Then mail it to: LAHR, Inc. P.O. Box 6565 East Lansing, MI 48826